Meedo dur­ing a Dubai weekend.

1. Eating my shoelaces dipped in peanut butter.
2. Losing con­trol of my bike down a steep slope end­ing in a solid brick wall.
3. Walking into someone’s office then find­ing out they just farted.
4. Getting pooped on by a bird at the very start of the day.
5. Waiting for my turn as the lab is finally taken over by the zombies.
6. Realizing the fish I ate was actu­ally chicken.
7. Poking myself in the eye with a freshly-chalked pool cue.
8. Watching reruns of the orig­i­nal Beverly Hills 90210 while chew­ing on one month old non-vegetarian beef jerky.
9. Bludgeoning a bas­ket of pup­pies with a bag of kittens.

…I’ve run out. I can’t think of any more less fun things than what I’m right now.